Why Didn't I Always Do This?

It's too bad I have been bitter and lazy my whole life when it comes to taking on new things and challenges...take, for example, my favorite sport: hockey.

I've always watched it a lot more than I played it. I seriously feel I know the game, as a spectator, better than almost anyone else. But, for some reason, whenever faced with the opportunity to play the sport throughout my life, I was somewhat resistant.

My love for hockey spawns to my dad's purchase of season tickets back when I was 3. The UMass: Lowell River Hawks played games at Tully Forum in Chelmsford, Mass., a short 20 minute drive from my town. Season tickets game out to about 4 bucks a seat, and from my father's perspective, it was the best (and cheapest) way to see live hockey each week throughout the winter.

Admittedly, not until we went to the games for a few seasons did I actually start paying attention to the game at hand. While for the first few years, I was always asking my dad "did they score?" each time the crowd stood up and cheered, I slowly began to develop an appreciation for what was happening in front of me. The few times I had tried to skate during the winter on frozen Bare Hill Pond in my town, I always ended up stumbling along, my skate blades at nearly a forty-five degree angle, pointing away from my body. Even most Floridians know that isn't the way to skate. My time spent on ice, and time spent literally, ON the ice was not a favorable ratio.

I would sometimes stand in the driveway at my father's old apartment complex and "stick-handle" at a rapid rate, a speed which I was convinced was faster than any player college or professional could achieve. "I'll be playing for UMass: Lowell one day" I thought to myself.

But, I still didn't do much. I continued to sit by my father at every home game, and watch on television, or listen on AM radio to every away game. I would scamper into my bedroom during intermissions and commercial breaks to pray to God that UMass: Lowell would win this game, and if they did, I would never again ask for anything else...needless to say, I asked every game for a couple of years.

When the River Hawks made the move from Tully Forum to brand new Tsongas Arena in downtown Lowell, my dad forefeited his season tickets. To fund the cost of the new building, the school chose to mark up season ticket prices considerably...this did seem to be the right move at the time, considering Tully had sold out every game for seasons on end. However, my dad's interest waned in the UMass: Lowell hockey team (so did most other fans'), therefore causing my interest to fall by the same margin. We reached a certain point where the most time we invested in the team was checking its place in the Hockey East standings in the weekend Lowell Sun.

While my interest in the River Hawks was decreasing, my involvement in the professional game was on the rise. Throughout my childhood, my dad told me that college hockey was better and college players tried harder. While I do agree to some of that being partly true to this very day, I think it was more my father's way of saying he wasn't going to pay the same price for two tickets for one professional game that he paid for season long tickets at a lower level. But, Dave Shea's away game broadcasts on UPN did grab my attention.

A week or so ago, I bought rollerblades. I dabbled with the thought of "roller hockey" for a littel while during my childhood, enrolling in a sort of 'camp' when I was around twelve. I never got too serious...the program was not a team, it was simply an elementary education. Fun took priority over actual learning, which was fine, because fun was all I really knew.

But something surprised me when I put on the rollerblades a week ago. It almost felt as if I had seriously skated before. I had no problem picking up speed, making quick turns, and coming to a slow stop. It wasn't much of a problem to get a good wrist shot off and shoot the ball top corner. It was almost as if I really had "played" this game before.

I seriously believe that hockey is something in my blood, and that I should never stop pursuing. It is the only thing in my life that has blessed me with talent, simply because of my knowledge through observance. "It's not as easy as it looks" was something told to me and proven to me throughout my life. But, now, I think I found something. A simple craft that touches upon my dreams and makes them seem like reality just for a moment. Right now as I write this, being an NHL hockey player is an impossiblity. But when I'm skating, it's not.