Anyone Else Think the Same Way I Do?

I hate complication. It doesn't make me feel good, it never seems to make other people feel good...therefore, I hate it. I do without it whenever possible.

Whenever I sit back, maybe have a few drinks, smoke a J, I think about life, in general. I would say I picture my life as if it was on GoogleMaps. I start out zoomed in, right there in that moment, and then I zoom out to what was before and what is after. I reminisce about the happy past, and dream bright about the future. I make up new scenarios, as to what would have happened or where I would be, if I made my decisions a little bit differently. I think ahead to what may be to come, and fantasize far beyond anything that seems to ever be within my reach. And then the alcohol wears off, the THC puts me into a progressively deeper state of relaxation, and eventally sleep. I acknowledge the beauty of my thoughts and call it a night.

I am puzzled by my friends and neighbors who talk to me and say things such as, "Harvard sucks, I can't wait to get out of here" (Harvard, Massachusetts is my hometown) with little remorse for their words. It's a small town, one "without much to do", but why is it that people can't be satisfied with the little things? Is it honestly impossible for some people to go for a walk and realize the pure enchantment in their surroundings? Sure, maybe you've seen these same surroundings your whole life, but that doesn't matter. Think of it as repeating one, singular word twenty times quickly. By the time you've said the word ten times, it's lost all of its meaning. So, in essence, it's like a new, unrecognizable word. Why not the same for a part of nature you are seemingly one with? Maybe if you look at it for long enough, your mind will erase its monotonous perception and you can see something you've never taken the time to find before.

When I was speaking with a friend of mine last summer and I was talking about my upcoming semester away from school, I told him about a revelation I had: With a job, and with a good head, I could live anywhere. My parents being divorced since I was three, having the tendency to throw me back and forth between residences without a care, left me with a constant feeling of entrapment until I had last summer's conversation. It wasn't until I made my life into something like GoogleMaps and looked at that (I know it's cliche) "big picture" before I realized I wasn't trapped at all; it was only my mind misperceiving familiar surroundings. I could apply right now, at this very moment, for a job in Los Angeles, California, get it, move out into an apartment, and support myself on that job. And, I think I could be happy. After all, happiness is just a mental state, which are often misperceptions of reality anyways.

While the past few paragraphs may have seemed dark at points, it's meant to push at something anything but bleak. When something gets you down, if you have an occurrence in your life which seems crushing and back-breaking, you still have a past and you still have a future. When you sleep at night, you dream. A dream can be about your future. The only difference is, your future is better. Before you shut your eyes each night, maybe you think about something you'd like to dream about. Chances are, you won't dream about what you want. But, your future, that's all you want it to be. So, right now, take a second and think about what you want your future to be. It's the only dream that you'll always have.